


Surviving social interaction 101; An extremely unhelpful guide by Ranboo. (Please Do Not Read!)

by BeesAreCool_IThink



Series: The misadventures of Ranboo and his idiotic friends; includes mild amounts of chaos. [1]
Category: Dream SMP-Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gremlins Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Greysons also a vigilante, Hero Phil Watson, Hero Technoblade, Hero Wilbur Soot, Heroes, Light Angst, Mentioned Dream SMP Ensemble, Minor Violence, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ranboo & TommyInnit Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), The Author Regrets Everything, Vigilante Grayson, Vigilante Ranboo, Vigilante Toby Smith, Vigilante TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Vigilantism, Villains, Work In Progress, im going to project on ranboo, its just gonna be very chaotic okay, no i will not apologize - Freeform, ranboo is bad at social interaction, sbi dynamic plus ranboo and tubbo, the vigilantes are doing their best ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-25 14:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30090375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeesAreCool_IThink/pseuds/BeesAreCool_IThink
Summary: "Oh. Ohno. Guys? This is bad."Look. It's not his fault. Technically.Ranboo's lack of social skills have ended him up in quite a few weird situations, but uh, this one definitely takes the cake.(Please help).or; bench trio + greyson as vigilantes, they're kinda good at their job.....kinda.
Series: The misadventures of Ranboo and his idiotic friends; includes mild amounts of chaos. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2214036
Comments: 51
Kudos: 625





	1. Okay, So We're Off To A Rough Start; prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29230860) by [eneli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eneli/pseuds/eneli). 



> yeah uhm I know the prologues short but I had to write something for this before I went crazy okay-  
> (ill put out chp1 REALLY soon!)
> 
> anyways hope you enjoy!

"Crap, shoot, fuck, shit, goddamn it, _fuck._ "

Ranboo has made a severe lapse in judgment.

Trusting Tommy and Tubbo to stay alone for more than five minutes was not a good idea. It never is. He should have known not to after the last time he left them to fend for themselves back at the flat.

He _still_ can't get the lasagna stains out of their curtains. Yellow curtains and lasagna don't go well together (nobody is surprised).

To be completely honest, it was supposed to be a quiet evening. Ranboo was meant to go out for his patrol, maybe catch a criminal or two. 

He was not meant to be stuck distracting a group of robbers in a bank while he waited for Tommy and Tubbo to get their shit together.

_"Tommy, gimme that!"_  
_"No, I'm using it! Get away from me!"_

Ranboo sighed and spoke into his earpiece, exasperated. "Hey, if you two don't mind, I'm kinda being taken hostage right now, so backup would be greatly appreciated." 

_"Tommy, get back here!"_

His plea is ignored.

Okay then. Ranboo's alone in this one. 

He reaches up to turn off his earpiece. Having two idiots arguing in his ear will definitely not help with escaping this situation.

Now to deal with the very angry robbers and terrified hostages staring intently at him. 

Oh boy. 

It's gonna be a long day.


	2. I'll Be Honest, This Was Not a Good Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo thinks maybe he should start getting paid for this shit.
> 
> Seriously.
> 
> Ranboo is going to beat Tommy and Tubbo's ass. 
> 
> They owe him for this. Ranboo doesn't like using his powers, or dealing with criminals, or heroes.
> 
> He'd much rather just take a goddamn nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> true to my word, here is chapter one :]
> 
> I hope yall enjoy it!!   
> (also holy shit??? i posted a shortass 200 word prologue and yall REALLY liked it omg???)

Ranboo thinks maybe he should start getting paid for this shit.

Seriously. He'll settle for below minimum wage at this point. (Please. He is so broke.)

Ranboo claps his hands together and turns to face the robbers, "Heyyy guys! So if you could just slowly step away from the nice bank tellers and put down your guns, that would be _great!_ " 

One of the robbers groaned, pointing his gun in Ranboos direction, "Dammit, man! Why're you heroes always meddlin' where you shouldn' be!?" 

Ranboo frowns.

Woah, Woah. What?

Ranboo is a vigilante. 

Vigilantes do not try and stop bank robberies or attempt to save hostages. They help with simple neighbourhood crimes and maybe break up a few drug deals. **Heroes** are the ones who deal with hostage situations and the general public. 

Ranboo is no hero.

And yet.

Ranboo sighs, trying to control his breathing with his shitty mask on. Tommy's mask's suck and they barely fit him right. Ranboo should get to making one for himself soon. "Look, guys, I don't wanna be here either. So let's just get on with this, yeah?"

One of the taller robbers fucking _growls_ at him and it's then that Ranboo begins to question his life decisions. Mainly the one where he let Tommy and Tubbo talk him into joining them as a vigilante.

Ranboo rolls his eyes at the man, "Wow, dude, you don't need to be so rude. I asked very politely!"

The unnaturally tall man (how the hell is he taller than _Ranboo_ ) starts to load his gun and Ranboo's beginning to think maybe this mission might've been a bad idea. He shouldn't let himself be peer pressured into helping with patrols so often.

"BIG MAN INNIT IS HERE!" 

Ranboo recoils at the sound of one of the windows breaking. He watches as Tubbo dusts off glass bits from his jacket next to him and Tommy adjusts his mask on the shorters left. 

Well. There's the backup.

"Wow, guys. It's so nice of you to show up." Ranboo drawls out sarcastically. 

Managing Tommy and Tubbo is exhausting and Ranboo would literally rather do anything else. But at least the idiots have good timing. 

"What the hell were you two doing that was more important than helping me??" Ranboo hisses. 

"Tommy wouldn't give me back my boosters so, I had to wrestle him for them!"

"No, no. You said I could have the boosters for today and then-"

Ranboo scowled and smacked the two upside their head, "Oi! Nobody hits Big Man Innit!" Tommy glares at him.

"Can you two quit fighting for like, five seconds? We're literally in the middle of a bank robbery! Look," Ranboo pointed towards the confused thieves on the other side of the bank, "Now they think we're unprofessional!"

Tubbo shrugs, "I mean, technically we are..." 

"That's not the point! Can you two _please_ help me deal with this before any heroes show up? We already have to deal with the cops outside!" Ranboo pleads and thankfully, the other two nod in agreement and finally stop their bickering.

The three make quick work of dealing with the five robbers, only disarming them to avoid so they can avoid any unnecessary bloodshed. 

Eventually, the irritating thieves are tied up. They're sat in a cluster at the front of the bank with Tommy standing guard, occasionally pestering them.

Ranboo's finished helping up one of the terrified bank tellers when Tommy speaks up, voice mildly panicked. "Uhm, guys?"

Tubbo turns to look at the blonde. Tommy's clutching his phone in his hand and looking out one of the bank's windows with a distressed gaze. "Tommy? What's wrong?" 

A yell from outside answers his question. "Come out with your hands up or we will be forced to come inside and disarm you!"

"Shit." Tubbo says at the same time that Ranboos mutters, "Heroes."

Ranboo groans. Why do they have such bad luck?

Tubbo speaks, clearly urgent. "Guys. We need to leave now. They'll question us if we're still here and we all know what happened last time." The three shudder at the mention of the _'incident'_.

"No shit, sherlock." Tommy grumbles and Tubbo flips him off. Ranboo ignores them in favour of looking for an escape route as they launch into another argument.

Ranboo grins when an open window in the back of the back catches his eye. It's a little high up, but it might work.

"Guys, look," Ranboo motions to the window, catching his friends' attention. "Tommy, if you can carry Tubbo and use the boosters, you'll be able to get out through that window." 

Tommy seems to think it over for a moment before agreeing. He turns to Tubbo, "Well, big man. Hop on my back, let's get going." Tubbo complies, quickly jumping on Tommys back

The two turn to Ranboo once Tubbo's situated on Tommy's back. They all know Ranbo can get back to their base safely so their not worried he'll get caught, but they still need a distraction.

And Ranboo's always the distraction. 

"You sure you'll be fine?" Tubbo questions anyway, worried.

"Yeah, you two get outta here. I'll deal with them." Ranboo assures both of them. 

They bid the taller goodbye. Tommy bracing his knees before he shoots up through the large window. Ranboo chuckles to himself when he hears distant yelling from Tubbo, who's most likely berating Tommy for making him hit his head against the ceiling.

The police yell from outside the bank again. "This is the last time we'll say it. Surrender now or we're coming in there!" 

Ranboo sighs. Being the bait isn't fun, but at least he's good at it. Making annoying noises and distracting people are both one of his many many talents Tubbo _lovingly_ has said before.

When Ranboo steps outside of the bank, he almost screeches, because _holy shit_ one of the top three heroes in the city is standing in front of Ranboo.

One of the top three heroes that owns the company he interns at. Tommy would've been fanboying if he was here right now. 

"Put your hands up!" 

Oh, right.

Ranboo snaps out of his mini panic attack. Now is not the time, he needs to focus. He needs to be distracting.

"Woah, Woah, wait! I'm a hero!" He lies.

The hero, Whisp, quirks his eyebrow. "I haven't seen you around the city. Where's your license?" Ranboo decides to go on a tangent instead of providing his very _real_ and _legit_ hero license.

"Who am _I_?" He questions the heroes in front of him dramatically. "Wow. Okay. I see how it is! Of course, of course! The oh so popular hero _Whisp_ doesn't remember me! Why would you remember a small hero like _me_ , right?" Ranboo spat. 

Ranboo is _very_ good at being dramatic. At least being a past theatre kid has some perks. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," The hero's apology seems genuine and Ranboo feels a little guilty. Just a little. "I may have forgotten you if we met during a big event. I tend to be very preoccupied during those."

Ranboo waves him off, "We talked during one of your earlier missions, actually. You asked me for help." 

That part is not a lie. Ranboo had helped the hero during a mission way earlier in the hero's career. But that was ages ago now, so long ago that Ranboo still hadn't met Tommy and Tubbo.

"Oh? How long ago was this mission?" The hero questions him and Ranboo smirks underneath his mask. Now, _this_ -this is where Ranboos expert distraction skills come in.

"Oh?" Ranboo lifts up his glasses and makes eye contact with the hero, watching as the man's eyes glaze over with a grey fog and he goes stiff, "What mission?" 

And when the hero blinks, the boy is gone.

See?

Ranboo's _excellent_ at distractions.


	3. Remember Kids, Bullying Your Peers Is Not Nice!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy gets bullied by his friends, Ranboo does something very _pogchamp_ and the Whisp is apparently going insane. Man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hello yes hi  
> I meant to post this yesterday but shhh
> 
> enjoy!!  
> (thank yall so much for the support on this book btw holy honk)

" _YOU WHAT!_?"

"I used my powers on the Whisp...? Tommy, I'm not sure what you don't understand here."

"You used your ability! On the Whisp! Ranboo this is huge!"

Yes. The Whisp is a popular and amazing hero. 

Ranboo knows this. 

Yes, The Whisp also rarely gets duped. 

Ranboo also knows this.

"Okay, Tommy, have you considered; he didn't know what my abilities were. It's _extremely_ easy to trick someone when they don't know what your abilities are."

Apparently, Tommy does not care. He is going to continue freaking out. Ranboo sighs and turns to Tubbo, who is fixing up his booster shoes, "Hey, do you know when he stops doing... _that_?" Ranboo gestures over to where Tommy is sat on the couch, still have a mental breakdown.

Tubbo shrugs, "Usually, I just let him tire himself out. He'll stop in a few minutes or so. But he's right, ya know? It's very impressive you managed to trick Whisp." Ranboo flushes at the compliment...he is not good at taking compliments.

Tommy suddenly grabs Ranboo by the shoulders, "Ranboo! You! Fought _THE_ Will 'o' Whisp!! Do you know how hard that is?!" Ranboo sighs, genty grabbing Tommy's hands off his shoulders. "Yes Tommy, I heard you. You've said this twenty times in the past hour."

Ranboo shoots Tubbo an exasperated look and the shorter chuckles at him, "I'm almost done fixing these. You two can go ahead and start getting ready." Ranboo nods.

Ranboo pokes Tommy when he stands up from the couch, "C'mon Tommy, it's almost twelve a.m. We gotta go."

Tommy whines but stands up anyways, following Ranboo out of their shared flat. Ranboo pauses at the door before he leaves, sighing as he retrieves Tommy's mask as well as his own. They really need to stop forgetting their masks.

"So, where to bitchboy?" Ranboo scowls at the nickname. "We don't need to patrol anywhere far tonight. Just our usual route."

"Let's get going then!"

___________________________________

" _Oh shit_ , Tommy! Be careful!"

Tommy lands on his ass and groans, flipping off a cackling Ranboo who helps him up from the ground.

"Oh my god, " Ranboo huffs out, "Why did you do that!" Tommy groans and shoves Ranboo to the side.

Tommy scowled, "Tubbo distracted me, okay? It's not my fault!" Tubbo rolls his eyes and continues clacking away on his laptop. "I told you the gloves weren't ready yet but you wore them anyway. S'not my fault they electrocuted you." He shrugs.

Ranboo nods in agreement and Tommy glares at both of them. "You guys are dickheads. Fuck you and you're support items, Tubbo! I'm leaving!" Ranboo chortles as the blonde moves to jump onto the roof of the next skyscraper over, "Where are you even going?"

"Somewhere where I'll be appreciated and away from you arseholes!" Ranboo rolls his eyes as he watches Tommy leap off, heading towards the inner city. He knows the blonde isn't actually mad, it's just a gag. Tommy's patrol area is in the city anyways.

"Hey, Ranboo?" Ranboo looks down at Tubbo, the youngers resting against one of the chairs up on the roof and tinkering with a new support item. Ranboo hums in acknowledgement, "You okay to patrol near the outskirts of the city today? I've heard there's been some commotion over there recently." Ranboo nods.

"Yeah, sure. Call me if you need somethin'?" He motioned towards his earpiece, Tubbo nodded. "Yep!"

Ranboo walked to the edge of the roof, left foot barely holding him back from falling down the towering skyscraper. 

He turns back to Tubbo and waves goodbye, "See you soon." 

Ranboo smiles. And he jumps off.

___________________________________

"What the hell does _that_ mean? How don't you remember??"

Whisp groans in frustration, "I told you I just don't!" 

The other hero pinches the bridge of his nose, "Okay, okay. So what you're sayin' is that you went to check out the crime scene and _all_ you can remember from your visit is finding the criminals already caught?" 

Whisp shouts happily and nods his head vigorously. "Yes! Yes! I went to the bank to check out the alert. And then all I can remember is talking to the police about taking the robbers into custody afterwards. The rest is well uhm, a...fog?"

The other hero nods thoughtfully, stroking his chin for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Okay, so you're senile. I didn' think it would happen so soon but....I'll find a good retirement home for you, Wilbur." 

Wilbur groans again, "I am not senile! Shut the fuck up you dickhead-"

"Oh, you are definitely senile wow-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ayup first person to guess Ranboo, Tubbo or Tommys quirks gets a high five and gold star lets go-]


	4. Uh Yeah, Could I Get A Coffee With Seventeen Espresso Shots?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> None of Tommy's ideas ever work out and Ranboo thinks maybe someone should tell him that.
> 
> Seriously, Tommy should not be allowed to give suggestions.
> 
> Tubbo also shouldn't be allowed to help him with said suggestions.
> 
> Ranboo does not enjoy managing his two friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hands you this and scurries away into the fog*
> 
> yes hello hi people holy fuck you guys really like this fic?????  
> thank you!! (it srsly means a lot holy honk)
> 
> make sure to read the notes at the end <3

Ranboo thinks Tommy's ideas are shit.

Almost all of them are, usually. Like that one time, Tommy had suggested the three teens try to forge Ranboo's legal documents and get him into an internship at the countries most reformed Hero company. And Tubbo had agreed. 

So here we are. Ranboo grumbling to himself as he stumbles through the streets, an almost comical amount of coffee orders held in his arms and muttering apologies to passerby's on the sidewalk. Ranboo seriously thinks he should start getting paid for all the crap he puts up with.

Ranboo's day had not started off great. First, he woke up to Tommy and Tubbo arguing about waffles in the kitchen. Again. And then he realized he'd woken up _late_. So late, in fact, that he had to skip breakfast, get dressed and run to the coffee shop down the street to get the heros' coffee orders. 

Ranboo sighs in relief as he sees the towering hero company building down the sidewalk, balancing fifteen coffee orders is not fun. Speeding up his pace, he rushes to the entrance and thanks the security guard happily when he opens the door for him. 

After handing the receptionist his latte (matcha, who the hell drinks matcha lattes?) Ranboo heads to the elevators to give the other heroes their orders. He meets Sam and Quackity on the 5th floor, who thank him hurriedly when he hands them their coffees, both clearly heading out to patrol or respond to an emergency. 

Ranboo heads to the 17th floor, snickering to himself when a frazzled Karl zooms past him in a blur and he clutches onto the drink tray as the older grabs his slushy (yes, Ranboo _did_ have to find another cafe that sold slushies). 

Then the teen watches in amusement as the hero almost crashes into the wall down the hallway, barely managing to open a portal in time. 

"Sheesh." Ranboo huffed. The teen returned to his task of handing out drink orders to passing heroes in the hallways. Eventually, there are only two cups left in the tray and he sighs. The last order he'd gotten from the heroes was for the Whisp.

Ranboo was understandably not looking forward to facing the Whisp after the...bank fiasco. Even though he'd wiped the heroes memory and there was no way for him to get caught, the thought of it still made his anxiety skyrocket. Arriving at the door to Whisps office he grimaced. He could probably scurry in and leave the heroes coffee on his desk, the Whisp was often distracted. And it wasn't _completely_ out of the question; Ranboo had managed to sneak into quite a worrying amount of the hero's offices without them noticing him. He hadn't even been using his abilities.

The heroes could do with a better security system.

Ranboo almost yelps when the hero looks up at him, "Ranboo! Just the man I was looking for!" Ranboo gives a strained smile, "Haha, hi what's up? I'm just uh, here, uh delivering your coffee?" 

God his social skills need help.

The hero continues to speak, opting to ignore Ranboo's distress, "Oh! Thank you." He takes a sip from the coffee, "I've been meaning to talk to you about your internship." Ranboo frowns.

"My internship, sir?" The hero waves his hand dismissively as he stands up from his desk, "I told you to just call me Wilbur, Ranboo. And yes, you've been interning here for about a month now and I was thinking it might be a good change of pace for you if we worked on some different...activities."

"Right, sorry," Ranboo apologizes, "What do you mean by uh, activities?"

Wilbur smiles, taking a sip of his coffee.

"How do you feel about patrolling, Ranboo?"

_____________________________________

It's official.

Ranboo wants to strangle Tommy for making him go through this. Maybe defenestrate Tubbo along with him.

The Whisp- _Wilbur_ said he'd wanted to start the next part of Ranboo's internship; learning to patrol. Ranboo had to hold back his scoff when the hero told him. He's already been patrolling for _years_. At least it would be a change of pace from rushing around trying to deliver coffee orders or helping with paperwork (read: trying to help).

Patrolling with Sam was fun. Really, Ranboo was genuinely enjoying patrolling with the hero. Being allowed to ramble on about support items without getting told off was pretty pleasant.

Well it _was_ pleasant until Ranboo spotted the two _shadows_ following them from the rooftops. If Ranboo hadn't recognized the poorly made booster shoes and patrol clothing the shadows wore he would've actually been worried.

He is _so_ making Tommy and Tubbo sleep outside tonight. 

He tries his best to shoo the shadows off whenever Sam looks away, but they ignore him (they're mindless creatures, why wouldn't they) and continue to follow along for many more blocks. The bastards.

Ranboo's train of thought is interrupted when Sam calls his name, "Ranboo? You okay? You look a little jumpy, man." 

Ranboo gives him a strained smile. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine! Just, ha, tired ya know? Been a long week!" Sam doesn't push it, nodding along and agreeing with the teen instead.

"Yeah, tell me about it. It's probably difficult for you to balance schoolwork and this internship too." 

The hero wasn't wrong. Balancing schoolwork, vigilante work, this godforsaken internship _and_ managing Tommy and Tubbo? Ranboo really had his work cut out for him.

Sam hums, "You know what? I'm sure it would be fine if you took the rest of the night off." Ranboo's shocked expression makes Sam smile. "Wait, really? Wilbur wouldn't mind?" 

Sam chuckles, "Nah, he won't care. It's getting a bit late anyway. Go on, get home and try to rest a bit, kid." Ranboo grins, "Okay, okay! Thank you!" He waves to the hero, walking off, "Have a good night!"

Ranboo does _not_ yell when he is dragged into an alleyway, no he does not, he would never. Ranboo is a very courageous and brave and super smart vigilante that takes no bullshit. So no, he does not scream when Tommy grabs him from the shadows and forces him into an alleyway.

"Tommy, what the _fuck_ -" 

Tommy hisses at him, "Be quiet, you're gonna get us spotted!"

Ranboo smacks Tommy. Hard. "Oh, really? 'Cause, it seems like you two already do a _fantastic_ job of doing that yourselves. Why the hell were you following me out on patrol?!"

Tommy huffs, rubbing his shoulder. " _Well_ , I was trying to tell you Tubbo and I needed help with a case, but you were ignoring me!" 

Ranboo sighs, exasperated, "So you decide to follow me while I'm on patrol with a hero?? Why did that sound like a good idea to you!?"

Tubbo's voice from his earpiece makes him jump, "Don't get mad at him, I told Tommy to come and get you. Remember that smuggling case I was talking about last month?" Ranboo nods even though the boy can't see him.

"I tracked some more activity with the case. Tommy and I found out they're involved with a... _very_ big villain."

Ranboo frowns. He remembered Tubbo telling him how this seemed like a big case but that none of the heroes had caught wind of it yet. It looks like the villains were keeping it under the radar.

"Did you find out who the villain is?"

Tommy ha a grim look as he answers for Tubbo. 

"We think it might be Schlatt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if there are typos I write this sleep-deprived LMAO
> 
> ayup the notes fo today;  
> -quite a few people (like 4 ppl) managed to get ranboos powers very closely spot on!  
> -there are hints for tommys ability in this chapter as well as  
> other characters quirks in this chapter so go ahead and guess in the comments if you'd like!
> 
> [again; yall are very cool and pog thank you for enjoying this story!  
> i have other works too if you'd like to check those out while you wait for more chapters <3]


	5. Guys? Can We Panic Now??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo's patience continues to grow thin.
> 
> Will he finally snap?
> 
> Find out on today's episode of; What The Fuck Is Wrong With Tommy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *does a jig*
> 
> hello mates, yes hi I am back more content weeeeeeee
> 
> (again, thank you all so much for the support with this book so far! I srsly didn't think so many people would enjoy it and reading comments from yall makes my day :] )

"What? Didn't Schlatt, like, die a few years ago?"

"Yeah, but knowing him he probably faked his death."

"Wow. Don't any of the heroes know?"

Ranboo shrugs, "Nope. They're too busy dealing with flashy villains and the media, I guess." 

Greyson sighs. "Yeah, that sounds like them. How's your internship going?" 

Bad. Very bad. Ranboo is constantly exhausted. He seriously doesn't want to do this internship.

Ranboo hums, swinging his legs back and forth from the rooftop. "It's been pretty tiring. I'd rather not be doing it, but it helps out with the bills. And we can use the information I get from the heroes for Tubbo's cases."

Greyson nods in understanding, "That sucks. Are you gonna ask the heroes for help with Schlatt?" Ranboo shakes his head, "No, it'll be too suspicious and they'd never believe me. It's not like they'll do anything about it either."

Greyson frowns at the teen, "I still think you should get some backup before dealing with the case by yourself."

Greyson's right. Backup would be helpful, and they'd probably be much safer leaving the case to the bigger heroes who have extra resources and reinforcement. But they can't afford to let the heroes become suspicious; Ranboo still needs the internship.

Ranboo smiles, "We'll be fine."

________________________________

Ranboo is going to smack the hell out of Tommy if he pokes him again.

His patience is wearing thin. And he is exhausted.

"Hey. Hey Ranboo. Hey. Ranboo hey-"

"Oh my _god_! What do you want!" 

"Sheesh, man, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Why're you so pissed today?" Ranboo rolls his eyes, holding back a groan. "I wouldn't _be_ pissed if you would quit poking me."

Tommy falters, "Well, you wouldn't answer me!"

Ranboo hisses, "That's because I'm trying to hear what they're saying!" Ranboo points over at the group of men talking in the warehouse below them, "Now be quiet, you're gonna get us caught."

" _Fine_."

Tubbo's crackles through both of their earpieces. "Are you two done?" He drawls in a bored voice. "Yep." Tommy grins. The little shit.

"Tubbo, do you know if they're talking about the case or not?" Tubbo hums in thought.

"They're definitely discussing the case, but I heard one of them mention something about a trade deal?" Ranboo frowns.

A trade deal?

"Did any of them talk about Schlatt?" Tommy asks from next to him. "Nope." Tommy groans in exasperation, throwing his hands up.

Ranboo shushes Tommy again. Seriously, for someone with Tommy's abilities, the boy really didn't know how to keep quiet.

"Don't shush me! I'm Big Man Innit- _Nobody_ shushes Big Man Innit-!"

Ranboo hears Tubbos annoyed voice come through his earpiece, "Tommy, please could you just stay silent for one goddamn second-"

Tommy pauses, pointing down to the warehouse, "Uhm, Ranboo?"

Ranboo frowns and follows Tommy's line of sight. He's pointing at the group of men huddled around a table down below. They have stacks of money placed on the table and look like they're arguing.

And then he spots it.

A gun.

One of them has a gun pointed at another man's head. He's going to shoot.

Tommy acts before Ranboo, " _Crap_ , we need to stop them." Then Tommy's scrambling to get off the beam they'd both been perching on. Ranboo watches as a black fog begins to spread and he doesn't have time to stop him before the blondes gone. 

Ranboo hears Tubbo's voice crackle through his earpiece, "Hey? Uhm, we might have a problem." Ranboo pulls at his hair in frustration, "Really? What issue could _possibly_ be more important than making sure Tommy doesn't get himself killed being a moron?!"

"Well, for one, three heroes are heading your way."

"Fuck." Ranboo curses under his breath.

He looks back down at the group of men. Tommy's trying to sneak up behind them and Ranboo cannot stress enough how much of a _stupid_ idea that is. 

He takes a deep breath, "Okay, uhm, can you distract the heroes? Just until Tommy and I can get out of here." 

"Yep. Good luck."

Ranboo looks back down at the warehouse. His breath hitches when he sees Tommy trapped in between a wall and two men. 

" _Shit_ ," Ranboos reflexes kick in and he's next to Tommy in seconds. 

Ranboo glares at the blonde, "Dude! Why didn't you wait for me?!" He scolds Tommy before punching one of the middle-aged men in his stomach. Tommy disarms the other, "I thought you'd follow me!"

"Tommy? Ranboo? I'm uh-" Tubbo sounds like he's out of breath, " _Fuck_ , I'm being chased by this-this like, flying hero?!" 

"Tubbo, I thought you were meant to distract them?"

"Yeah, _this is the distraction_!"

Tommy looks confused, "Didn't you say there were _three_ heroes, Tubbo?"

Tubbo sounds rushed and his breathing is heavy over Ranboos earpiece, "Uhm yeah- _oh fucking hell_ -yeah there are three of them but, uhm, _ow_ , I'm working on it!" 

Tommy knees another man in the gut and frowns, "That doesn't sound very promising!" 

"Can we just get the hell out of here now?" Ranboo asks.

"Yeah, uh start heading out of there." Tubbo pants, "I'll lose this guy. We can meet up at the rendezvous." 

"What rendezvous?" Ranboo resists the urge to smack Tommy upside his head again. He chooses to poke out another middle-aged man's eyes instead.

"Wha- _just go_!"

"Damn, okay, you don't need to get all riled up!" Ranboo watches the black fog spread again and Tommys already gone. Ranboo grumbles to himself in annoyance before deciding to leave as well.

He can't keep saving Tommy's ass.

The blonde is gonna owe him _so_ many gummy bears when they get back to the flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayup more hints for quirks this chapter! sorry if the action scenes were a bit wonky I'm not very good at those yet :,)
> 
> also I would love to hear any theories you guys have about the story so far! the ones I've gotten so far are very interesting :]  
> double also yes I uh got a twitter? if you'd like to follow me there and watch me talk about stupid shit (and answer story stuff) plz follow mayhaps @beescool_ithink

**Author's Note:**

> aha hi, we're not gonna talk about the fact that I keep writing new stories instead of updating my other works-  
> (nor the fact that I keep changing titles for my other works-)
> 
> explanation for this work; I have none, vigilante bench trio and greyson go brr  
> hope u enjoy!


End file.
